2003-07-09 - 11:17 p.m.

Looking at it objectively, and in terms of the defined ethics I try to set for myself and follow, what I did today was really a pretty shitty thing to do. I deliberately lied and deceived someone I didn�t even know, strictly for my own entertainment. I can say that the ignorance that offended me justified my lie, and the manipulative actions towards me deserved retribution, but that just makes me an arrogant fool rationalizing away his own shitty actions.

Mainly, I just thought it was funny as hell, and I feel no guilt whatsoever.

I�m working today at the bookstore. It�s a pretty slow day overall, all of the busy work is already done, so we are just sitting around with the few customers we have and browsing for books that we ourselves would like to buy.

I turn around from explaining the location of a local bakery to a hungry customer and a beautiful woman about my age is standing in front of me. She�s 5�7�, blonde hair that pools like a waterfall to her shoulders, dark blue eyes reminiscent of the open sea under the full moon, and a smile that takes the breath out of you as efficiently as any punch you�ve ever taken. She�s wearing a black tank top with a Harley Davidson symbol on it, and old blue jeans, broken in and hanging from her comfortably. The top button of the jeans is frayed and stretched below her bare belly button. Accidentally sexy.

And I mentally sigh, lost in the unfairness of it all.

�Can I help you find something?� Attractive, but can she think?

�Yes, can you show me where �The Lord of the Flies� is?�

�Sure, right this way.� Wow. Not only is she beautiful, she reads the classics. I would have noticed her before, but now I�m interested in her. I lead her to the Literature section and pull it from the 3rd shelf down on the far left.

�You knew right where it was. You must be pretty smart to know where every book in the store is.�

I may be an idiot where women are concerned, but I can sometimes tell when one is trying to flirt with me. �Here you are,� fumbling with my fingers while trying to hand her the book, �It�s a really good one, a great story.�

�You�ve read it?�

Go for it Launchpad, try to impress her with how well-read you are, like it will get you anywhere, �Yeah, I read it years ago. I really liked it.�

�I have to read it for school before the fall semester starts.�

�Really? Are you studying English?�

�No, I�m going for a cosmetology certification, but in order to make it an associate�s you need to take an English class.�

Red flag. �Cosmetology? It�s surprising that that�s something you would need a degree in.� Now I said that as a general comment, I was actually surprised that they would offer an associate�s degree in cosmetology. She didn�t take it that way. She took it as a compliment to her looks, that she looked good enough that she shouldn�t need a degree in cosmetology.

�You�re quite charming when you want to be, aren�t you?�

�Actually that�s not true. I want to be charming quite often, I only pull it off every once and a while,� still trying to be smooth.

A small giggle. �I was wondering if you would do me a favor?� She then smiled that smile that pierces right through you like a spear to the spleen, sucking all sentience from your psyche.

My libido is still thinking for me, I naively imagine she�s going to ask me out. �Sure, what can I do for you?�

�I don�t really want to read this book, and you said you�ve already read it and liked it. Could you just tell me what it�s about enough that I could write a good report on it and hand it in tomorrow morning? I don�t really think I should have to read an old book like this for a cosmetology certification, do you?� Another smile.

Ah, now I�m catching on. It may have been a while since I was with anyone, but I can still see when I�m being taken for a fucking fool and used. Any interest I had in her is immediately crushed and I feel nothing but contempt for a woman who�s using her good looks to flirt her way through a college class. �Sure. I can understand that. Even taking an English class seems a little much for that kind of degree.�

�Exactly! So you don�t mind telling me what the book is about? All I know is that it�s something about an island somewhere.�

�That�s all you know about it?� I�m trying to look flattered and embarrassed and glance away. In reality I�m scanning the other books on the shelf for inspiration, and come across Dumas.

�Yeah.�

�Well, that�s only part of the story. You see in the beginning of the book a young Frenchman named Edmond Dantes is accused of a crime he didn�t commit and is thrown into prison. When he�s there for more than 10 years, he finds out about a fortune that was hidden on an island called Monte Cristo. Then he manages to escape from prison and heads over to the island and finds the treasure. Then he goes back to France and introduces himself as a rich guy from out of town called the �Count of Monte Cristo�. He uses all his money to get revenge on the people who framed him, and spends the rest of his life wealthy."

She�s still smiling at me with those dark blue eyes. �That�s so cool that you remember what the book is about even though you read it years ago.� Still trying to flirt for more information.

�Thanks. You know, you really don�t need to read this book. About a year or two ago they made a movie of it that stuck really close to the story, almost word for word. You can get the whole thing in and write a good report if you go rent it.�

�Really! I didn�t know they made a movie of it!�

�Yeah, they�ve actually made 3 over the years. The first two were actually called �The Lord of the Flies�, but the really good one that they made a couple years ago was renamed �The Count of Monte Cristo� because they thought it sounded better for Hollywood. I would go over to Blockbuster and ask them for �The Count of Monte Cristo�. I�m sure they have it, and you could watch it tonight and write the report.�

�That�s great! I�m so glad I talked to you about it! I had no idea they made a movie of it!�

�Yeah, just make sure you don�t see the first two versions of it, they didn�t follow the book very well and had a lot of bad acting. Make sure you look for the one called �The Count of Monte Cristo.��

�I will. I�ll head over there right now.�

She was still smiling that evil smile of hers as she turned out of the store and pointed her convertible sports car towards the nearest Blockbuster.

And I was smiling mine.

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